It’s no secret that Venmo is the most fascinating form of social media. You can tell a lot about a person simply by seeing who they are charging for pizza at 3 a.m., what emojis they use to pay for weed, and whether their name is on the household utility bills. But today, a new and far more wholesome corner of Venmo has been brought to my attention: the financial transactions of a user we think and hope is beloved character actor Richard Kind.
Kind, whom you may recognize from a wide range of comedic and/or curmudgeonly roles, has exactly the sort of expenses you might expect from a guy who looks and sounds, in the best way possible, like he mainlines soup and tuna sandwiches. A handful of Twitter users recently offered us stunning insight into his comings, goings, and daily fiber intake, via screenshots of what appears to be his Venmo profile. It is, at the very least, a profile bearing the name “Richard Kind” below a photo of his face, which looks like a selfie he took by accident. (Based on the little info I do know about Kind, this would track.) We can only hope its owner is our guy, because after seeing what Richard Kind supposedly buys, I feel serene, restored, and free of all worldly concerns. I think you will too. In April, for example, he paid someone for “Party.” In September 2020, a guy named Greg paid him for “Swisher Sweets,” a brand of cigarillos. Other disbursements detail more routine hobbies of a middle-aged man of means: “Golf,” “Painting,” “Poker.”
There’s also a recurring “Fruit” payment (yes, just “Fruit”) that several commenters have identified as a popular street-side produce vendor on the Upper West Side. Kind appears to be a regular there — in October, he got a little crazy and purchased “Lettuce” too.
Again, we have not confirmed that this Venmo account does in fact belong to the actor. You may also be disappointed to hear that, when I tracked down the same account while logged into my own Venmo, it listed no transactions to speak of, suggesting it was either wiped or switched to private. (Understandable, given all the attention it’s currently receiving online.) Still, as long as this man hangs on to his fruit plug, I will never need to meditate again.
